Agony Aunt Agatha #14

My good friend got into a relationship with a guy a month ago. Now, she rarely interacts with me and the other people in our circle of friends because she spends most of her time with her bf. I feel hurt because of this. Any advice?


It seems like your friend is in a loving relationship with her new boyfriend! Who wouldn’t want to spend their time with their loved one? This would especially be so as we are all students, hence our schedules are restricted and we can’t meet whenever we want, wherever we want. As hard as it may be for you, for the meantime, I think the acceptance of this situation from your part is crucial. It is completely normal for someone to feel jealousy at those who are, in a way, “stealing” our good friends from us; it seems like their priorities changed, and they don’t deem us to be as important as they did in the past, and it may even seem as if…as if we were not close friends to begin with. Although this is how you would perceive this situation, I believe your good friend may not think as such. In her perspective, she may want to spend more time with her boyfriend as she has constantly been hanging out with you and your other friends, and she may be doing this to make up for the lost time. In her eyes, she may not be able to spot the dissatisfaction and tension that is building up in your relationship with her as she does not know how her actions are affecting you. Hence, acceptance is necessary; accept the fact that she now has a plus-one, and as this relationship is still a relatively new one, she may want to spend more time exploring and enjoying this sensation. 


I understand it would be hard to accept her situation like I stated above, so if you really feel neglected and not given enough attention from her, I think speaking out is also a good option. I do not mean confrontation, oh no, but instead a heart-to-heart talk where you tell her the way she has been treating you and your group of friends lately and how the lack of time she invests in you nowadays is upsetting you. Discuss the matter with her and maybe even offer a few suggestions, e.g. 


“How about we meet during break, and you can meet up with him after?” 


“How about we all sit together? We never got the chance to interact with him at all!” 


“Please, we haven’t seen you all week! I know you want to spend time with him, but we all want to hangout with you, too.” 


If all of these things don’t work, don’t fret. Once the relationship becomes stable and there is enough trust and bond between the two of them, she will most likely come back to you and your friends and everything will be peachy again. Please do not feel hurt and disappointed over this matter, for there are other pressing issues which may concern you a great deal more. Like, global warming. Or the fact that America will be choosing a new President soon. Or how plastic straws only account for 0.03% of pollution in the ocean, yet people are still telling us to use a metal straw although using a metal straw will lead to more harm to the environment. On a more serious note, please do not let these issues affect your mood. Your friends certainly won’t be happy with their significant partner if they see you feeling down because of their relationship.


Save the turtles!


How do I improve my GP? I’m damn screwed for GP myes, didn’t even finish paper 2 and probably wrote out of point for my paper 1 essay.


Hello, thank you for sending in this question. Sadly, if we knew the answer and solution to this issue, we all won’t be wearing a frown on our faces too. GP is such an unpredictable paper, where the content is not given to us in a presentation slide format which we can all binge-read on, yet the scope of this subject is so broad that we cannot simply never be prepared enough to consistently do well in this subject. However, this tricky nature of this subject may help us in understanding how to tackle it with ease and get that “A” which we are all craving for. 


  1. Expect the unexpected: Never think that the questions will all be similar. The topics which they are testing on us may be similar, but the questions may not be the same. They may be asking about a whole new section under this topic, or have very specific requirements in the question itself which have to be addressed entirely. Hence, expose yourself to a variety of questions!
  2. Stock up: We may have avoided reading newspapers and finding out more about the world around us for the last few years, but it is unavoidable now that we are taking GP as a subject. Read the newspapers and keep a keen eye out for any current affairs or events which may prove to be valuable sources to be incorporated in your future GP essays. Remember, the more knowledgeable you are, the more you can flaunt your skills on paper, so read whenever you can!
  3. Train yourself: You can be educated under the finest teachers in the world, but if you have no will and determination to step up and constantly improve on one’s self, even a fine tutor with a high pay will not be able to bring up your grades. Practise analysing questions more till you no longer go out of point; place a stopwatch in front of you before writing an essay to make sure you are able to finish in time. Put your phone and distractions away and focus solely on your paper. It may be a painful training session, but you will be much more prepared rather than just lying around and worrying about your future grades. 
  4. Let bygones be bygones: Don’t worry about the paper which you have already submitted, you still have a huge paper ahead of you. Close your eyes, close your mouth, clasp your hands together and pray for your spiritual guide to assist you in the upcoming examinations and make sure you study harder this time round. 
  5. Maybe tell your parents?: They will send you to a tuition centre. They will buy assessment books. They will read the news with you. Although this is the extreme and the least-recommended option, it is still somehow the most effective. 

So yes, I hope I have answered your question. Although I myself have never tried studying as hard, the more time you spend on your work, the higher marks you get apparently. Life is not like a Disney fairytale; Godmothers who can change a 43% to 70% do not exist. Rubbing a lamp does not mean you get you ask for three wishes. Do not just sit there and think that worrying over your results will somehow lead you to achieving academic greatness. Sit up, hold a pen in your hand, and start scribbling a few balanced arguments on a piece of paper. 


All the best!


Do you have anything to ask Agony Aunt Agatha? Vent here!





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